Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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