I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
