I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize