My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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