At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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