Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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