omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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