We won't sleep together?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize