dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
