A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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