Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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