don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
