i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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