You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
