I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
