Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're a waste of cheezeits
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize