Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
