when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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