wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can I color on your dick again?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
