Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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