So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Did I show you my penis last night?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
