We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
