So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
