I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
