we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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