If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
