I think i sorta joined a cult last night
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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