I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
