I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
