Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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