real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
