All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
