i think i have herpe
just one?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
