were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
