There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
True college students do jello shots in the library
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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