The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
