i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
