I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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