We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
