Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
