8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize