you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize