My room smells like vodka and shame
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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