Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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