perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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