So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
