I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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