i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am available for nakedness
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