i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
