Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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