how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize