if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
