I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
