Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
