don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
