i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
