So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
